Saturday, February 18, 2012


This rabbit hole is deep and scary. I actually tired myself out from being so angry this evening. I retreated into my computer, a familiar escapist behavior for me in times of stress and/or boredom, both of which I have been struggling with lately. I have been working harder than ever but am grossly and hugely BORED! Can one be grief stricken, enraged, AND bored at the same time? Apparently so.
As I was uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn, he began to talk. It was rambling and strange, of course, and made very little sense. But I began to hear patterns in his thinking. He asked where my house was and if I had children. He asked if I had ever gone to Taft school (where he had gone and returned to when grown, as its principal.) I explained that I had not gone there as a child but had returned to run an adult training program there when the elementary program closed. He got very excited and told me that his wife would be very tickled to hear that as she had done that too! When I explained that I WAS his wife, he replied that he knew that. He then asked me if I had a husband. His easy assumption of diverse beliefs fried my rational circuits enough that I couldn't keep quiet about it. I told him that if he KNEW I was his wife, he had to stop talking about me as if I were someone else. I slipped a little further down the hole.
Later that night, he came from the bathroom and gave me a big kiss. I told him that it confused me that we were kissing since he wasn't sure who I was. He replied, "Don't worry about it. I like you as much as anyone else around here."

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